The started off with a smile, though couldn't sleep well last night but still was completely fresh. The dreams have been weird, thoughts completely absurd but meaning full. The whole night i was thinking about that one thing that made me happy throughout my school days especially the +1 +2 days. Stealing samosas , that kanche waali botal, that beatings we used to give to each other (though i rarely got the chance to beat anyone), trying to look into our pockets for a single rupee to give to the angry bus conductor, who might throw away anytime from the bus no matter how large in number we were. 10 people trying to hold on one burger, and finally rushing "i got it! i got it". Those were the memories that i will never forget. Everybody of us used to have enough money to buy a samosa for himself or a soda bottle but it dint tasted until we snatch it from the others. That proud feeling of stealing and snatching made those days hard to forget.
It was 7. A mosquito kissed my cheeks and then i was fully awake. "I have to be ready by 11" i thought and then tried to sleep again. "Go get an hair cut" said my parents, together(one thing they are in harmony with). Finally at 8 i stood up from my bed and then after having breakfast i went to the barber shop. As usual he asked a lot of weird questions about my lovely hair and gave suggestions to improve them further. I was getting ready for a meeting with a friend, for which i have been waiting so long. 11'O' clock i was ready. The meeting was 40 km away from my house so i reached the venue at 12. I had lot going on in my mind for the meeting, one thing i was waiting for. I was more than happy at that moment of time.
" I will be coming in 10 mins" she said. My heart pounded heavily, "Do i look good?" I thought. "Where is the wash room?" i asked the guard to keep a look on myself. I wet my hairs, though i know whatever i do i can't look good but hope in me was still alive. And as i saw her coming from the door of the gate and saw her bright, smiling face, i thanked god for bringing me here. I was completely astonished to see her beauty, she was the most beautiful girl i ever saw. "Ab chale" she said, i dint knew whether i went near to her or she came towards me, but whatever happened, it happened for the good. To keep my feelings to myself, i tried to ignore her as she would be the last girl i would be interested in. We then went to a restaurant and chatted, ate a platter of fruits, out of which my worst fruit was hers favourite. My inner self said to chat a little longer but then not to look despo i just asked her to go out to see some girls.
I never knew coming out will cause me such a trouble, i just wanted to have an ice-cream and a little chat but finally we decided mutually to have a pizza which i dint like at all(But who came for the pizza!!). Then we finally decided to leave as it was getting late for both of us. And further adding to my follishness i dint even thanked her for the treat and neither complemented her, which in general cases has to be done. Anyways the day was memorable, i would like to thank her for that, and i dint look at any other girl.
Finally i reached hostel, and i knew the results for GATE have been declared and i had 0% chance in qualifying. So i was least interested in knowing the results."Oye macha di sabne" said a cheerful friend. I was like "maine kaise". "tujhe chhor kar. you are NOT QUALIFIED" he added. And at that moment, i dint know what to do, cry since my heart wanted me to do, or just take it as if nothing has happened. (Nothing matters is just a way of consoling yourself) I chose the second option, i don't know why but it kept the atmosphere cool. I finally thought that i have conquered my fears of showing of my feelings, i tried to keep it to myself for as long as possible. I was crying within, not for being disqualified but for everybody was happy around me and i was not able to adapt to that happiness. "Don't talk about it" I wanted to say, but dint want to remove the happiness from the atmosphere. "Tera kya raha" a friend asked. "Kya hona tha mera, luck nai chala is baar " i tried to laugh (dont know whether the attempt was successful or not), but i surely cried within. I couldn't look into their eyes, so that they may not see my watery eyes. I wanted to talk to someone, but couldn't find anyone. I know tomorrow everyone will forget everything, since the minors are coming and it would be easier for me to escape. I know i have let many people down, and am sorry to them.
I can't keep my feelings to myself :x
It was 7. A mosquito kissed my cheeks and then i was fully awake. "I have to be ready by 11" i thought and then tried to sleep again. "Go get an hair cut" said my parents, together(one thing they are in harmony with). Finally at 8 i stood up from my bed and then after having breakfast i went to the barber shop. As usual he asked a lot of weird questions about my lovely hair and gave suggestions to improve them further. I was getting ready for a meeting with a friend, for which i have been waiting so long. 11'O' clock i was ready. The meeting was 40 km away from my house so i reached the venue at 12. I had lot going on in my mind for the meeting, one thing i was waiting for. I was more than happy at that moment of time.
" I will be coming in 10 mins" she said. My heart pounded heavily, "Do i look good?" I thought. "Where is the wash room?" i asked the guard to keep a look on myself. I wet my hairs, though i know whatever i do i can't look good but hope in me was still alive. And as i saw her coming from the door of the gate and saw her bright, smiling face, i thanked god for bringing me here. I was completely astonished to see her beauty, she was the most beautiful girl i ever saw. "Ab chale" she said, i dint knew whether i went near to her or she came towards me, but whatever happened, it happened for the good. To keep my feelings to myself, i tried to ignore her as she would be the last girl i would be interested in. We then went to a restaurant and chatted, ate a platter of fruits, out of which my worst fruit was hers favourite. My inner self said to chat a little longer but then not to look despo i just asked her to go out to see some girls.
I never knew coming out will cause me such a trouble, i just wanted to have an ice-cream and a little chat but finally we decided mutually to have a pizza which i dint like at all(But who came for the pizza!!). Then we finally decided to leave as it was getting late for both of us. And further adding to my follishness i dint even thanked her for the treat and neither complemented her, which in general cases has to be done. Anyways the day was memorable, i would like to thank her for that, and i dint look at any other girl.
Finally i reached hostel, and i knew the results for GATE have been declared and i had 0% chance in qualifying. So i was least interested in knowing the results."Oye macha di sabne" said a cheerful friend. I was like "maine kaise". "tujhe chhor kar. you are NOT QUALIFIED" he added. And at that moment, i dint know what to do, cry since my heart wanted me to do, or just take it as if nothing has happened. (Nothing matters is just a way of consoling yourself) I chose the second option, i don't know why but it kept the atmosphere cool. I finally thought that i have conquered my fears of showing of my feelings, i tried to keep it to myself for as long as possible. I was crying within, not for being disqualified but for everybody was happy around me and i was not able to adapt to that happiness. "Don't talk about it" I wanted to say, but dint want to remove the happiness from the atmosphere. "Tera kya raha" a friend asked. "Kya hona tha mera, luck nai chala is baar " i tried to laugh (dont know whether the attempt was successful or not), but i surely cried within. I couldn't look into their eyes, so that they may not see my watery eyes. I wanted to talk to someone, but couldn't find anyone. I know tomorrow everyone will forget everything, since the minors are coming and it would be easier for me to escape. I know i have let many people down, and am sorry to them.
I can't keep my feelings to myself :x
"You didn't find any one to talk", theek hai bhai..teri marzi
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